“My dear sister, no need to envy, don’t you know you are beyond comparison?”
There is some tragic loss from one’s soul when you find yourself lost in the social media craze of comparison. It can feel even worse when you secretly are comparing yourself within your circle of close friends. You may tell yourself sometimes, “I’m happy for them” but find yourself thinking, “I’m sucking right now compared to them”.
We compare ourselves sickenly to other peoples jobs, careers, passions, families, fashions, culture, height, weights, beauty, age, talents, relationships, blah -blah-blah, the list goes on! It’s out of control, not to mention exhausting!
Can comparison be a positive? Sure, on some level it possibly can be if you play your “comparison card” in your favor. For example: Comparison that drives you to become a better version of yourself. Or using comparison to expand ideas for business, work, or competition.
But you’ve got to ask yourself, is comparing yourself in that moment making you feel good or is it making you feel like shit?
I have a friend who is once told me she was beating herself up because she is not doing as good as I am in life. It was shocking to hear because she knows the struggles that it took me to get to where I’m at. It also hurt to my heart because I care for her immensly and can’t stand the thought of her feeling inadequate next to me. After a long conversation with her, explaining how I can relate in many ways, my friend realized there was no need to compare. We were both on the same team, going after the same goal, to become better versions of ourselves.
The road to “MORE” or “BETTER” is not a flawless journey. Along the way are many battles to face. One of those battles requires facing one of your little demons called “Comparison”. We all face this little sucker throughout our lives. But you don’t have to waste precious energy fighting it when you can learn to control it and utilize it for your benefit.
Below are FIVE suggestions to STOP Comparing when you find yourself losing the battle and feeling like shit.
- Stop scrolling! Stop Liking! Stop Following! – It’s a virtual reality of overwhelming information about everyone else’s life. Put down your phone and do something that makes you feel good about yourself in REAL TIME in the REAL WORLD. Look, I get it, many compare themselves based on the number of followers. Numbers are powerful. But guess what is even more powerful? Action! Movement! Music! Love! Real moments, with real people. That is more powerful than any number of followers you will ever have. Take a chill pill and have fun with numbers instead of being so hard on yourself about it.
- Instead of comparing yourself to your friends who are successful, ask them questions. It’s said that one of the best things you can do to be successful is pick their brains and find out how they got there and mimick that. There is no time to compare when you are busy finding out information and working on building friendships. Good friends want to see their friends around them succeed.
- Remember- You are responsible for your thoughts and actions. Responsibility is power! It’s no one else’s fault for your feeling of envy, jealousy, and negative ideas about who or what they are. You can’t control or change who someone is, what someone posts, or what someone says. However, you can turn your eyes and thoughts inward by feeding your soul with things that empower you instead of devouring your good energy.
- If you find yourself losing the battle with comparison- take yourself to the gym immediately or do some kind of high intense physical movement as soon as possible. Comparison can be toxic and just because you couldn’t stop yourself, doesn’t mean your body has to suffer. You need to release the toxicity that may come from the overwhelming impact that comparing can have on your well-being. You may even surprise yourself once you get your body moving while your mind detoxes. Turn that negative into a positive!
- Whatever or whoever it is that you find yourself comparing yourself too, you must take into consideration that they are just as human as you are. They have emotions, dramas, journeys, and life surprises as much as you do. They’ve cried, they’ve felt some kind of pain sometime in their life, they’ve got their own demons and no matter how amazing someone’s life looks on the outside. There are more
struggles, more triumphs, more successes, more grief, and much more that goes on that many of us can’t see. So when you find yourself comparing- think to yourself, why? Underneath the skin is a miraculous Universe! Do your best to look beyond who or what you compare yourself too and think bigger about your life! YOU literally need to tell yourself you are on some next level shit and you ain’t got time for that nonsense. My dear, you are so beyond comparison!
Helen Edwards -Entrepreneur, Collaborator, Event Creator, Yogini and Author of the rising best selling book, Nothing Sexier Than Freedom. She is a traveling yogini with a passion to teach three different styles of Yoga: Restorative, Vinyasa, and Buti Yoga. Helen has taught life skills, networking, and conscious behavior classes in shelters since 2008. She has a background as a Vision Therapist and working with kids with autism. She has worked with the Phoenix- Prison Yoga Project (PYP) working with incarcerated adults and teens and is currently a Wild Woman & Traveling Retreat Leader, Owner of the Sexy Freedom LLC biz, and Host to the Sexy Freedom Media Podcast. It is her true desire to provide affordable and life shifting workshops, events, and retreats for both women and men to free themselves from other people’s opinions, self judgments, self-neglect and provide them with basic tools to utilize for conscious evolution, courage, and self-love. Helen is truly an authentic being, a wild woman, an example of raw voice, and a mother of an incredible teen. She is a Universe, Nature, & Brain /Body forever student, currently a nomad based in Phoenix, AZ with her laptop, Spike and Scion, Chico.
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